"Hey buddy, did you get a load of the nerd?"

 

You'd probably never guess that a person with a Family Circus blog has a history of being extremely uncool, but it's true. I was, as Billy would apparently say, a nerd of the highest order.

I won't go into all the details of my lameness, but i will say this, and this says a lot:  i was obsessed with Shakespeare.  I memorized monologues, i wore humorous t-shirts - size L - featuring the Bard's face, i was a member of the freaking Shakespeare Sleepover Society.  To make matters worse, my hair was long and parted in the middle, and when i wasn't wearing literary T's, i donned ill-fitting men's sweaters.  

Here's a particularly embarrassing picture some jerk tagged me in on facebook for all to see:

Modesty prevents me from telling you that I've since become awesome (i assume all my readers know me personally, and you all can judge for yourselves!) but it's safe to say that I've  improved since the bleak 11 -18 age range.  There was really nowhere to go but up.

The problem was, unlike our friend Jeffy here, I didn't have anyone -- neither older siblings nor school bullies -- telling me that i was a nerd, and that is why sartorially horrifying photos of me are readily available on the internet.* To paraphrase the guardian angel Clarance, "You've been given a great gift, Jeffy: a chance to see that you're on a one-way train to squaresville."

*I know reposting that picture here would seem to contradict my expressed horror, but i'm trying to get over my embarrassment over my teenage years.  It's all part of the healing process.